


he's got you now (trust him please)

by matskreider



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: 2017 Off-Season, Camping, Eddie's taco obsession, Fluff, M/M, Multi, and some angst, pure fluff, references to divorce, so i lied a bit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-15
Updated: 2017-05-15
Packaged: 2018-11-01 07:10:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10916886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/matskreider/pseuds/matskreider
Summary: He doesn’t get to take candid pictures or videos of the two of them being stupid. He has to be careful what views he does take pictures of and when and how he posts them, because God knows Lu doesn’t give a shit.He hardly uses his Instagram anyway, it of course makes sense that he wouldn’t know how to carefully time things out.But right now, watching him make breakfast, he wants that documentation. He wants to know that there is going to be a history of the two of them, not independently, but of them together. That they can tell their kids about with pride. That they can show them that there is no fear in being themselves, because both of them had to work hard to get where they were.That they persevered.(eddie and lu go camping; eddie's introspective; lu likes podcasts)





	he's got you now (trust him please)

He wakes up wrapped in the old worn blanket that pretty much lives in the back of their truck. It’s soft, and smells like the warm leather interior. Begrudgingly, Eddie blinks his eyes open, stretching out as much as he dares in the cramped space. He’s got both pillows propped behind his head, which means Lu’s been up for a while.

He can hear movement outside, including the crackle of a fire and metal scraping metal. The door isn’t propped open, but the windows are, to allow for the mountain air to get inside as much as possible. There’s a chill in the air, and Eddie sits up to throw on the sweatshirt that had been so carelessly discarded the night before.

He rubs a bit at the Florida Panthers logo on his chest as he steps into his slides, the wool socks he’d worn the night before keeping him warm.

Sure enough, Lu’s outside, a toque pulled low over his ears. He’s leaning against a tree trunk, a red and black plaid blanket beneath him, looking out over the cliffs down below. He’s got a mug in his hands, headphones leading down to his phone as he listens to whatever it is he’s listening to. Maybe another podcast.

Eddie can smell the coffee in the thermos on the table besides their airstream, and he pours himself some. Then, he adds some hot chocolate powder and marshmallows. Stirring that, he makes his way over to where Lu’s sitting.

The older goalie puts his feet flat on the ground, knees bent, to let Eddie settle in between his legs. Eddie waits a for a few moments, just listening to the small, tinny sound through Lu’s headphones.

Definitely a podcast. Maybe _This American Life_?

He’s almost done with his morning drink by the time Lu slides one arm across his chest, pulling him a bit closer. “Morning babe.”

Eddie hums and leans up for a gentle kiss. “Morning to you too.”

Lu pulls back with a pinched expression. “Why do you always do that.”

“Mix hot chocolate and coffee?”

“Yes.”

Eddie shrugs. “Homemade mocha?”

Lu gives him a look with his eyebrow raised, but says nothing further on the topic. Eddie hums and takes another sip, before he reaches back and wiggles his fingers into Lu’s pocket. He pulls out the phone, unlocking it to check the weather for the rest of the week.

“What, you don’t have a phone of your own?” Lu asks, but there’s no heat to his words.

Eddie just shrugs as he takes another sip of his drink. It’s not supposed to rain, but clouds would come through the area sporadically through the week. Cold overnight and after sundown, but warmer during the daylight hours. All in all, it’s supposed to be good weather.

“Think we could just stay here for a few more hours? Be lazy?” Eddie asks. He looks down as Lu’s arms wrap around him, his thumbs tracing the whiskers on the jumping panther.

“You already were lazy, sleeping in like that.”

Eddie leans back to give a pout to Lu, but when he catches his gaze, he blushes instead. “That’s hardly my fault…”

“One can dispute that.” There’s a softer look on his face now, and Eddie can’t help but lean up for another kiss. One kiss turns to two, then three, but by the sixth Lu pulls back, and makes to get up. Eddie whines, but when he realizes that Lu means to make them breakfast, he scrambles out of the way.

It’s a bit ungainly, and he winds up lying on his back in the dirt with only a small bit of coffee spilt onto the ground around him, but it gets the job done. Lu must be thinking the same thing, because he stands over Eddie with a raised brow. “That was real shitty form, chick. Do you want scrambled or fried eggs?”

The Swede hauls himself upright and positions himself against the tree trunk where Lu had been moments before. “Scrambled. With the salsa if you can.”

“You know, not all toppings for tacos should be used again for breakfast,” Lu mutters as he walks back over to the small table. He picks up the dishes including the coffee pot, and takes it into the airstream to clean. It leaves Eddie alone on the edge of this beautiful cliff face with the summer valley awakening beneath him.

The truth of the matter is that summer is really more of a dream. Sure, it’s not hockey season anymore, but between playing for Sweden at Worlds (a poor substitute for the Olympics), media events for the Canes, and the knowledge that they temporarily had _three_ goaltenders kept him just as emotionally busy as the on-season did. There were less occasions to travel, but the destinations were oceans apart rather than just coast to coast.

It was a lot.

Through the propped open door, Eddie can see Lu moving between mixing bowls and the stovetop. It’s a painfully domestic scene, and it both settles and unnerves Eddie in equal measure. Part of it could be because he knows he wants this to last into the season, but until one of them gives it all up, it can’t happen. Part of it could be fearing what is to happen to him if they decide to keep Ward and Darling, and move him elsewhere. Part of it is definitely because he loves Lu. All of it is, actually.

But he can only express it here, in the middle of the woods, in the break between the beginning and ending of the season. And he can only express it with his body, his mouth, and his words. He doesn’t get to take candid pictures or videos of the two of them being stupid. He has to be careful what views he does take pictures of and when and how he posts them, because God knows Lu doesn’t give a shit.

He hardly uses his Instagram anyway, it of course makes sense that he wouldn’t know how to carefully time things out.

But right now, watching him make breakfast, he wants that documentation. He wants to know that there is going to be a history of the two of them, not independently, but of them _together._ That they can tell their kids about with pride. That they can show them that there is no fear in being themselves, because both of them had to work hard to get where they were.

That they persevered.

But this fear is...it’s so much. There’s not a lot of room for people like them in the NHL, no matter how many campaigns say otherwise. But there won’t be any room for people like them in the NHL without someone being a trailblazer.

Of course, in a way, this upcoming draft will be something of a test for the teams in the NHL to go through, what with that kid, Jaret something-Dolan. He’s got two moms, and he’s a top prospect.

But having two moms is different than _being_ two moms. Or, rather, two dads.

Eddie squeezes his hands around his coffee mug as he takes a bigger, deeper gulp. A bit of the hot chocolate powder clings to the front of his teeth, and he swipes over them with his tongue to try and clear it.

Maybe this next season wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe this would be the year that the Canes could move forward.

But would they be moving forward without him?

He’s only a year older than Darling, and he didn’t have the emotional baggage of bad decisions that the other goalie did. But with all these articles saying this was Darling’s chance to be a starting goaltender...what did that mean for _him_?

“Breakfast is ready,” Lu calls, interrupting Eddie’s spiral downwards.

He blinks in surprise, looking up at Lu as he sets the table. “Yeah, be there soon.” Hauling himself up to stand, he subtly takes a sniff of the hoodie, still smelling like Lu. It’s a good smell, a comforting one, and he can’t help but wrap his arms around Lu when he gets close enough.

Lu reaches back, his fingers finding a way into Eddie’s hair. “You good?”

Eddie doesn’t answer, just nuzzles his face into Lu’s neck, eyes closed. Just this moment, in quietness, save for the fire crackling behind them and the odd bird call from beyond the tree line.

Lu, bless him, doesn’t press, just turns and kisses Eddie’s head. Gentle fingers rub against his scalp, and Eddie takes that moment for what it’s meant to be.

* * *

After breakfast, Eddie makes sure to put out the fire completely before they head out to explore the area some more. (“Eddie it’s fine.” “Smokey the Bear says otherwise.” “I’m not letting you watch TV with my kids anymore.”)

They make their way through some of the paths, climbing up higher and higher. Eventually they reach the end of the path, several rocks hanging over this extraordinary view of the valley down below. A river snakes through the tree covered hills, and in the distance they could see a small town.

Eddie sits down on the edge of the rock, his knees hanging over the edge. Lu follows suit, lying down next to him on his back. The sun had come out, but it wasn’t overbearing yet, despite their altitude.

“I heard that bears come through this valley for migration purposes. Not right now, but in the fall they will. And the leaves turn all kinds of red and gold,” Eddie murmurs into the silence.

Lu hums encouragingly. “Oh really? Where’d you hear that?”

“Did some Googling before we left. Came up around the weather and stuff.”

“Look at you, all prepared.” Lu nudges his thigh with his knee, a gentle little push.

Eddie blushes at the slight praise, looking back out over the valley. It’s quiet now, and he knows that Lu probably is working through some stuff in his own head. The wind picks up, and Eddie turns his face into it, trying to let the breeze take away all the negative thoughts from that morning.

It’s hard though, and he winds up flopping backwards onto the rock face in frustration. When he turns to look at Lu, he’s staring at him in amusement.

Eddie scrunches his nose. “What?”

“Nothing. You’re just kinda all up in your head right now. Is something up?”

The younger of the two rolls over onto his side, pillowing his head on his arm. “It’s just regular old anxieties, Lu. Nothing special.”

Lu gives him a gentle smile. “Humor an old man.”

“Pfft. It’s only 9 years, Lu,” he counters, but sighs. “I’m just...they signed Darling, right? And there’s all this talk about him being the next number one goalie for the Canes, but there’s still Ward and me to deal with and...I deserve this, you know? I deserve to be there, even if it’s as backup. But if they have to choose between me and Cam…”

“Hey, hey, no.”

“Oh come on, they’re all up Cam’s ass.”

“Yes, and I’m up yours on a regular basis, but we both know that’s not the point here.” Somehow Lu delivers that line with a straight face, and Eddie mentally applauds him on the effort.  
“Okay, then what is the point?”

“The point is that you’re hella skilled. And yeah, even though the Canes goalie situation is already a bit of a clusterfuck, you’ve done great.”

Eddie sits up on his elbow, brows furrowed. “Lu, you played twice as many games as I did this season.”

“And you got just as many shutouts as I did.”

“Lu that’s not-”

Lu sits up and moves so he’s straddling Eddie. He leans down, bracketing the younger goaltender with his forearms. “Listen. Whatever happens, wherever you go, you’re going to kill it. And if you stay right where you are, and continue to make a name for yourself, you’re only going to get better. Yeah, they might keep Cam, but Scott’s a year younger than you. He’s going to have to prove himself, learn a new system, and not fuck up again.”

Eddie’s brows furrow. Yeah, he’d been thinking the same thing, but the nicer part of him wanted to come to Darling’s defense. Besides; it couldn’t really be that easy, could it?

“You have veteran status on the team. Maybe not as much as Ward, but they know how to work with you. Not to mention, it’s the offseason. You don’t have to worry until you’re back on that ice. And even if you wind up fighting for the backup position, you’re going to do what you did in Vancouver, and prove them wrong.” Lu’s giving him that look, that odd cross between affectionate and deadly focused, that only Eddie seems to be able to coax from him.

Its intense and leaves Eddie feeling decidedly raw.

“But what if they don’t want me anymore?” There’s a question between the lines, that he’s not asking, and he knows that Lu knows what he’s _really_ asking.

_What happens if they send me farther away from you?_

“Then we make the best of it.” Lu kisses him softly then, and Eddie closes his eyes to fully enjoy it.

It’s a bit uncomfortable, given that he’s got some rock digging into his shoulder blades, but the sun is warm, Lu’s weight is solid above him, and he’s missed the wet feel of their mouths against each other. This week was supposed to remedy their distance during the season.

When Lu pulls back, Eddie lifts his hands up to cup Lu’s face. He looks up at this man who helped to turn him into the goalie that he is now, into the _man_ that he is now. The man who still reached out to help him even through his own personal problems and a divorce, self realizations and trades that helped only one of them. The man who, for some reason, inexplicably loves him.

“I love you.” He says it, but he doesn’t really _say_ it. He murmurs it, as he swipes his thumbs over the strong cheekbones of one Roberto Luongo.

“I love you too,” Lu responds, his voice just as low and reverent.

“Promise?”

“Til the end of days.”

* * *

Lunch time brings some makeshift pizza sandwiches on bagels and a swim in one of the rivers that they’d passed by earlier. It’s closer to their campsite, so they have time to actually pack for lunch and change into swim trunks. The water is cold, but it feels nice in the rising heat.

Eddie’s let his hair grow longer in preparation for the season - he doesn’t really like it short, but sometimes he does just to give himself more time on the back end to let it grow out. It’s a sort of convoluted thinking process, but it keeps him sane. Well, as sane as a goalie can be, anyway.

Lu’s hair is free of gel for the moment, flowing wet and free as he shakes his head after he surfaces again. Eddie’s found a rock in the middle of the river, at the perfect height for him to sit on but still feel the water moving over his legs. He leans back as he watches Lu rub his hands down his face, squeeging the water off.

The action itself isn’t all that sexual, but the way that Lu immediately looks for him once his vision has cleared gets his heart rate up. It’s a silly little notion of affection, but he reaches out a hand for Lu to take as he gets closer.

“You look a little bit like Ariel,” the older goalie teases, twining their fingers together.

“No, she was on her stomach. And her hair was red,” Eddie counters.

“Still just as beautiful.”

Eddie blushes, and shyly smiles up at Lu. “I bet you say that to all the Swedes.”

“Nah, chick. Only you.” The smile Lu gives him is just as gentle as his words. He reaches up and plays with the Eddie’s hair, the softness still there in the waterlogged strands, even if the fluffiness wasn’t.

Eddie preens at the attention, turning his head to encourage Lu to work his fingers lower, tracing against the shell of his ear now. This is a moment that he might want to recreate some day, but maybe not in the water. Maybe instead against an apple tree or pine tree, depending on the time of year. And probably in either the sunrise or the sunset - Eddie himself preferred the night, but Lu was an early riser. Either way, the sky would be beautiful.

Even though it hurt to think about, Lu really did look good in red and gold.

Maybe Lu’s kids would be there too, Gabriella and Gianni. A dress for her, a waistcoat for him.

The water was already cold enough when they had entered, Eddie had gotten accustomed to it over time, but now it seemed cold as ice. A pit of nervousness opened up under his heart as he recognized what he was thinking about.

A marriage photoshoot.

But that was off in the future, and who knew if Lu wanted to get married again while they were both still playing. Even when Lu retired, Eddie still would have, hopefully, quite a few miles left in him to go. What if the NHL hadn’t changed by then, what if it wasn’t safe for the two of them to be married, should they wait until the kids were older?

Why was he thinking this seriously about it?

He opens his eyes just enough that he can look through his lashes up at Lu. The older of the two hasn’t stopped playing with Eddie’s hair yet, but he’s looking off towards the tree line. He looks around and once he’s determined whatever it is he was looking for, he turns back to look down at Eddie.

Then Lu kisses him, and Eddie understands what he was looking out for.

* * *

After making their way back to their site, they take turns showering - it’s hardly meant for all 6’4” of Eddie by himself, not to mention all 6’3” of Lu - and then just have a moment to appreciate the lull of the afternoon. Eddie, of course, climbs right back into bed, now wearing some Canes sweatpants and the Panthers hoodie from that morning.

Lu plugged his phone into the charger before climbing in alongside him, throwing an arm over his chest.

It’s quiet, just listening to the sound of nature outside and their slow, even breaths. Eddie’s in that space between awareness and sleep, when the images from the river come back to him. His left thumb traces along the base of his left ring finger, imagining the smoothness of a ring there.

“Would you ever get married again?” The question is out before Eddie can reel himself back in, and he can feel Lu tense up next to him.

Shit.

Eddie looks away from him, curling in on himself a bit. “Y-you don’t have to answer if you don’t...forget I said anything, it’s nothing.”

Lu still hasn’t said anything, and Eddie thinks there’s a chance that he can get out of this scottfree.

“I think…” Or not. “...if it were for the right person, I’d do it again.”

He’d already dug himself into a hole, might as well keep digging. “Do you regret marrying her at all?”

“She’s my best friend, so no, I don’t regret marrying her. The timing may have just been off, but...I don’t think she was my person, if that makes sense.” Lu’s thumb rubs softly against Eddie’s throat. The younger goalie rolls over, tucking his face up against Lu’s neck. It has been a good two years, and he...this felt comfortable.

But Lord knows how comfort is not the only qualifier for marriage. When it is, the marriage never ends well.

Lu’s hand slides back into Eddie’s hair, gently rubbing at his scalp. “Look...when the time is right, I’ll think about it. I know it’s been two years but I’m...still not really ready, yanno?”

Eddie feels Lu press a kiss to the top of his head. “Doesn’t mean I don’t love you, though. I do. A lot.”

“I-it wasn’t a question for now, just more of a…..general thing,” he explains, not lifting his head.

“Then know that my answer is “not yet,” but it’s not a no.”

Eddie looks up, then, and searches Lu’s expression. He’s being honest, not like earlier in their relationship when it was clear he was still haunted a bit. Even if things had been amicable between him and Gina, and still were, Eddie had watched him trying to get through it all. He’d come so far in these years. Eddie just had to trust that.

“Okay,” he murmurs, pressing his face back down again. “Can we sleep now?”

Lu chuckles softly. “Of course we can. Just stop talking first.”

Eddie pinches his arm in retaliation, before letting himself drift back off.

In his dreams, the mostly-imagined conflict between himself, Darling, and Ward didn’t matter. In his dreams, the uncertainty of the future didn’t matter. In his dreams, he and Lu were together and happy, making tacos in their kitchen, while Lu’s kids watched TV in the other room.

The when, where, why, and how didn’t matter. He had what he needed.

Lu.

**Author's Note:**

> the timeline for these boys in this particular verse is something that i've kinda thought up over the past few days; i'll most likely expand on this in the future but if you have any questions hmu on [tumblr](http://eddieluongo.tumblr.com/) and ask 'em


End file.
